Final Week of Practicum #2

Boy, I have become one tough nut.

Over the past four weeks, I have developed an incredibly thick skin and a patience I knew not I had. I was able to nonchalantly ignore 'Ms. Norman, Ms. Norman, Ms. Norman!" from the adorable, dedicated and darling girls in my class to whom I longed to respond. I cracked down on 'boy number 4' who persisted on arguing everything I said. I proclaimed that I would no longer justify myself. The girls who chatted innocently and incessantly were no longer over looked and those students who conveniently requested 'drinks of water' and 'phone calls home' and who seemed to be persistently out of their desks, sharpening pencils were denied their privileges. 'No, you may not go to the washroom' is a huge step for me.

Being privy to conversations where my AT was lauded and complimented by his colleagues for his ability to deal with this class, I realize that I have had an incredible experience. I am convinced that my practicum was one of the toughest, grueling, grinding, soul-baring experiences of my teaching career. After two full-blown physical fights in the class this last week and a visit from the V.P. to address my students in person during science class (they were not the best behaved at an assembly)I suddenly felt very proud of myself.

I did it. I survived. I was tough. I held high expectations and in the end, I had the most moving farewell of my life in school today. I placed a unique pen and pad on every desk while students were on afternoon recess, as a little token of my feelings. When they returned, they were so excited and overwhelmed that they formed a long line and had me sign each and every pad of paper, like I was a rock star! They pulled out camera phones and digital cameras and posed for pictures with me. They presented me with a giant card signed by everyone in the class and individual students gave me personalized cards, drawings and pictures. My AT stood up and made a huge speech about me and how much he thought of me. I'm about to cry right now reliving this whole experience. Needless to say, after everything I have been through, I was brought to complete and utter tears of love for my students. It was the hardest farewell of my entire life.

Yup. I'm teary now. How strangely unnatural to be thrust into a tight-knit environment, to develop intimate and valued relationships with students and then to suddenly be pulled away: gone. I imagine others are feeling as I am now and are experiencing this sort of withdrawal; having been entirely consumed in a life and then suddenly freed of it.

Well, this is the end of my OISE blog. What an incredible idea. I hope our supervisors continue to implement this reflection strategy as for me, my weekly blog has served as a release. I am excited to look back upon my words as the months pass and to be reminded of all I have felt.

I miss you already, room 369!

(responses to Winzie, Matt, Jen and Daiva)