Boy, I have become one tough nut.
Over the past four weeks, I have developed an incredibly thick skin and a patience I knew not I had. I was able to nonchalantly ignore 'Ms. Norman, Ms. Norman, Ms. Norman!" from the adorable, dedicated and darling girls in my class to whom I longed to respond. I cracked down on 'boy number 4' who persisted on arguing everything I said. I proclaimed that I would no longer justify myself. The girls who chatted innocently and incessantly were no longer over looked and those students who conveniently requested 'drinks of water' and 'phone calls home' and who seemed to be persistently out of their desks, sharpening pencils were denied their privileges. 'No, you may not go to the washroom' is a huge step for me.
Being privy to conversations where my AT was lauded and complimented by his colleagues for his ability to deal with this class, I realize that I have had an incredible experience. I am convinced that my practicum was one of the toughest, grueling, grinding, soul-baring experiences of my teaching career. After two full-blown physical fights in the class this last week and a visit from the V.P. to address my students in person during science class (they were not the best behaved at an assembly)I suddenly felt very proud of myself.
I did it. I survived. I was tough. I held high expectations and in the end, I had the most moving farewell of my life in school today. I placed a unique pen and pad on every desk while students were on afternoon recess, as a little token of my feelings. When they returned, they were so excited and overwhelmed that they formed a long line and had me sign each and every pad of paper, like I was a rock star! They pulled out camera phones and digital cameras and posed for pictures with me. They presented me with a giant card signed by everyone in the class and individual students gave me personalized cards, drawings and pictures. My AT stood up and made a huge speech about me and how much he thought of me. I'm about to cry right now reliving this whole experience. Needless to say, after everything I have been through, I was brought to complete and utter tears of love for my students. It was the hardest farewell of my entire life.
Yup. I'm teary now. How strangely unnatural to be thrust into a tight-knit environment, to develop intimate and valued relationships with students and then to suddenly be pulled away: gone. I imagine others are feeling as I am now and are experiencing this sort of withdrawal; having been entirely consumed in a life and then suddenly freed of it.
Well, this is the end of my OISE blog. What an incredible idea. I hope our supervisors continue to implement this reflection strategy as for me, my weekly blog has served as a release. I am excited to look back upon my words as the months pass and to be reminded of all I have felt.
I miss you already, room 369!
(responses to Winzie, Matt, Jen and Daiva)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Week 3 of Practicum #2
Thank goodness for wonderful friends and colleagues (you know who you are). I truly understand the importance of collaborative professional practice in the sharing of ideas and experiences and thanks to the support and encouragement of some incredible TCs, I've taken this weekend to breathe deeply, regroup and prepare for the challenges of this coming week.
My class is large and diverse. We have ten students with IEPs, two with assistive technologies and one with possible Asperger Syndrome. In addition, we have a student who is violent and unpredictable. This particular boy causes infinite unhappiness and disruptions in the class and it has been steadily increasing since my arrival.
At the beginning of practicum, I noticed that he liked to point scissors at people. I have witnessed him sneaking pencils and erasers out of people's desks, only to calmly replace the stolen item after enjoying watching the proprietors madly scramble in their search. He has taken to insidiously bullying a girl of mixed race, whispering 'I hate you' as he walks by, and purposely elbowed her at one point, claiming it was an accident. I caught him drawing swastikas on his textbook and Thursday he choked a boy so badly that a large, red mark was visible on the child's neck the next day. Sometimes I am in the middle of teaching a lesson at the front of the class and there he is, standing right beside me for no apparent reason. I ask him to sit down and he shrugs, waits a bit and then slowly finds his way back to his desk.
My AT is a tall, athletic man to whom it was made clear that his skills and competence as a teacher were the reasons for placing so many students with challenges in his class. I was shocked when he revealed to me that this boy's actions had him practically in tears last week. My AT has reached his breaking point.
Together, we sat and recorded, to the best to our ability, everything pertaining to this boy: the number of times we spoke with him in the hallway, kept him after school, made him apologize, had him write lines, and how many times my AT phoned his parents and asked for interviews. This child's foul language, rude jokes, misogynistic comments and racial jokes are ceaseless and his defacement of other students' work a clear wake-up call that all is not right.
It may seem strange that I am writing solely about one student but it is really hard to explain how the actions of one simple child can affect every person, every activity and every thought in the classroom. My AT is beginning the process of accumulating evidence for possible transfer of this child to a behavioural class and without a doubt the biggest obstacle will be the parents. They are wealthy and influential. My AT is looking to me as a witness with the professional detachment to back him up.
In short, I believe that every child is entitled to an education in a safe and inclusive learning environment where they have the right to learn, grow and participate without the interference of other children. Safety is a precondition for learning and consists of both emotional and a physical components. My vision for teaching has always been my belief in the establishment of a respectful, appreciative and loving classroom where students can feel free to be themselves, take risks and look forward to coming to school. At this time, after countless attempts and a variety of strategies, I cannot see a future for this child in this classroom.
Though we strive to assist each student, reach out to them, make accommodations, implement differentiated instruction and provide infinite positive encouragement and support, sometimes an intervention is required. I feel bad for all the other students. This is what it comes down to. The child is unable to meet the behavioural expectations of our classroom.
To leave on a positive note, I can't think of a more extreme example of a class management issue than this, and will always treasure this experience in how it has offered me the chance to implement multiple disciplinary tactics, test my levels of patience and get me thinking and analysing on my toes. For a not-so-tall girl with a soft voice, I'm developing my presence in class and training myself to use words efficiently and directly. I will continue to refer back to this practicum for a long time and if I ever encounter another child like this, I will watch for the warning signs and take action before it escalates. I will be prepared.
My class is large and diverse. We have ten students with IEPs, two with assistive technologies and one with possible Asperger Syndrome. In addition, we have a student who is violent and unpredictable. This particular boy causes infinite unhappiness and disruptions in the class and it has been steadily increasing since my arrival.
At the beginning of practicum, I noticed that he liked to point scissors at people. I have witnessed him sneaking pencils and erasers out of people's desks, only to calmly replace the stolen item after enjoying watching the proprietors madly scramble in their search. He has taken to insidiously bullying a girl of mixed race, whispering 'I hate you' as he walks by, and purposely elbowed her at one point, claiming it was an accident. I caught him drawing swastikas on his textbook and Thursday he choked a boy so badly that a large, red mark was visible on the child's neck the next day. Sometimes I am in the middle of teaching a lesson at the front of the class and there he is, standing right beside me for no apparent reason. I ask him to sit down and he shrugs, waits a bit and then slowly finds his way back to his desk.
My AT is a tall, athletic man to whom it was made clear that his skills and competence as a teacher were the reasons for placing so many students with challenges in his class. I was shocked when he revealed to me that this boy's actions had him practically in tears last week. My AT has reached his breaking point.
Together, we sat and recorded, to the best to our ability, everything pertaining to this boy: the number of times we spoke with him in the hallway, kept him after school, made him apologize, had him write lines, and how many times my AT phoned his parents and asked for interviews. This child's foul language, rude jokes, misogynistic comments and racial jokes are ceaseless and his defacement of other students' work a clear wake-up call that all is not right.
It may seem strange that I am writing solely about one student but it is really hard to explain how the actions of one simple child can affect every person, every activity and every thought in the classroom. My AT is beginning the process of accumulating evidence for possible transfer of this child to a behavioural class and without a doubt the biggest obstacle will be the parents. They are wealthy and influential. My AT is looking to me as a witness with the professional detachment to back him up.
In short, I believe that every child is entitled to an education in a safe and inclusive learning environment where they have the right to learn, grow and participate without the interference of other children. Safety is a precondition for learning and consists of both emotional and a physical components. My vision for teaching has always been my belief in the establishment of a respectful, appreciative and loving classroom where students can feel free to be themselves, take risks and look forward to coming to school. At this time, after countless attempts and a variety of strategies, I cannot see a future for this child in this classroom.
Though we strive to assist each student, reach out to them, make accommodations, implement differentiated instruction and provide infinite positive encouragement and support, sometimes an intervention is required. I feel bad for all the other students. This is what it comes down to. The child is unable to meet the behavioural expectations of our classroom.
To leave on a positive note, I can't think of a more extreme example of a class management issue than this, and will always treasure this experience in how it has offered me the chance to implement multiple disciplinary tactics, test my levels of patience and get me thinking and analysing on my toes. For a not-so-tall girl with a soft voice, I'm developing my presence in class and training myself to use words efficiently and directly. I will continue to refer back to this practicum for a long time and if I ever encounter another child like this, I will watch for the warning signs and take action before it escalates. I will be prepared.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Week 2 of Practicum #2
What a welcome relief it is see the arrival of March Break! It is like a little gift: time to regroup, make reflections, ponder lessons learned and make plans of initiative for the future. It is truly astonishing how much preparation is involved in teaching junior students. With so many subjects and the need to make constant evaluations, I find that every second of my time (including prep, lunch, after school and at home in the wee hours) is spent preparing and designing lessons and assessment opportunities.
In looking back upon my week, I can only think of the many huge challenges I faced. There are continuing to be incredible functionality issues in my classroom. I am dealing with very subtle bullying (requiring phone calls to parents and after school talks), physical injuries resulting from disputes (ending with the writing of lines and counselling), moments of confrontation when students will simply argue with me over very simple things and a general blatant disregard for figures of authority. I don't enjoy having to constantly justify my statements and saying everything three times. "James, sit on the carpet. James, please come and sit on the carpet. James, I am asking you, come sit on the carpet."
When I don't let the frustration get to me, I think carefully and slowly and try to implement the suggestions given to me by my supervisor. From the core of my being, I can honestly say that one very simple modification has saved me countless hours of unhappiness. I try to point out the students who are behaving well. "I like how Suzie is sitting quietly. "
Since all children love to volunteer and have their hands constantly raised, I try to select the most quiet students to partake in activities. This works amazingly well. "Today, I need three volunteers to conduct a wind test on the bridges". Everyone wanted to blow on the bridges. In announcing that after recess, I would select the three students who were at their desk the fastest, remaining silent in waiting for my selection, I had the best behaved class in the whole wide world. It was like I was teleported onto a different planet!
Positive reinforcement is an incredibly powerful tool. It is certainly no fun asking the same student ten times to take their seat. This is redundant and useless. I'm trying to hone my various tactics and attempt to spin the class moral in the right direction. Who wants to get down on people all the time? Neither a teacher nor a student grows emotionally from such an exchange. I'm on a mission to try as many different methods of positive reinforcement as possible.
I am pleased to note that one particular student who displayed a constant defeatist attitude in her attempts to complete work left school today with a smile on her face. I really tried to pursue a rapport with her and encourage her with lots of attention, positive reinforcement and understanding. Even my AT notice a remarkable change in her attitude. I am excited to see her again after March Break and find out if I truly have had a lasting affect on her learning.
A challenge, yes. But what better way to experience a dynamic classroom with so many scary and thrilling dimensions? Had I the perfect class, I would never know what it would be like to address bullying. This concept was practically abstract to me until now and as a result, I feel passionate about bringing this horrible, sometimes insidious abuse to light. It is unbelievably cruel and can be very easily overlooked by busy teachers in large classrooms.
March Break, I love you, but I also miss my students already. Ho Hum. I am such a complex person!
In looking back upon my week, I can only think of the many huge challenges I faced. There are continuing to be incredible functionality issues in my classroom. I am dealing with very subtle bullying (requiring phone calls to parents and after school talks), physical injuries resulting from disputes (ending with the writing of lines and counselling), moments of confrontation when students will simply argue with me over very simple things and a general blatant disregard for figures of authority. I don't enjoy having to constantly justify my statements and saying everything three times. "James, sit on the carpet. James, please come and sit on the carpet. James, I am asking you, come sit on the carpet."
When I don't let the frustration get to me, I think carefully and slowly and try to implement the suggestions given to me by my supervisor. From the core of my being, I can honestly say that one very simple modification has saved me countless hours of unhappiness. I try to point out the students who are behaving well. "I like how Suzie is sitting quietly. "
Since all children love to volunteer and have their hands constantly raised, I try to select the most quiet students to partake in activities. This works amazingly well. "Today, I need three volunteers to conduct a wind test on the bridges". Everyone wanted to blow on the bridges. In announcing that after recess, I would select the three students who were at their desk the fastest, remaining silent in waiting for my selection, I had the best behaved class in the whole wide world. It was like I was teleported onto a different planet!
Positive reinforcement is an incredibly powerful tool. It is certainly no fun asking the same student ten times to take their seat. This is redundant and useless. I'm trying to hone my various tactics and attempt to spin the class moral in the right direction. Who wants to get down on people all the time? Neither a teacher nor a student grows emotionally from such an exchange. I'm on a mission to try as many different methods of positive reinforcement as possible.
I am pleased to note that one particular student who displayed a constant defeatist attitude in her attempts to complete work left school today with a smile on her face. I really tried to pursue a rapport with her and encourage her with lots of attention, positive reinforcement and understanding. Even my AT notice a remarkable change in her attitude. I am excited to see her again after March Break and find out if I truly have had a lasting affect on her learning.
A challenge, yes. But what better way to experience a dynamic classroom with so many scary and thrilling dimensions? Had I the perfect class, I would never know what it would be like to address bullying. This concept was practically abstract to me until now and as a result, I feel passionate about bringing this horrible, sometimes insidious abuse to light. It is unbelievably cruel and can be very easily overlooked by busy teachers in large classrooms.
March Break, I love you, but I also miss my students already. Ho Hum. I am such a complex person!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Week One of Practicum # 2
Practicum #2 has begun and already one week has flown by. I am enjoying the new school immensely and already feel a great fondness for my new students. My AT has proven to be a huge support for me this week and provides daily debriefs on my lessons. He is kind and thoughtful and has the best interests of the students at heart.
As for the Grade 5's, I am finding that this dynamic, energetic and chatty class is keeping me on my toes. Though most of the 32 students are attentive and function well together, there are at least 8 individuals who continuously disrupt learning, leave most work incomplete and even disregard my instructions while continuing to misbehave. I felt unsatisfied this week and confused by the actions of these particular attention-seeking students. Even though I created fun, interactive science activities that addressed many learning styles and intelligences, these children continued to cause havoc in the classroom; teasing each other, lacing heavy sarcasm into their comments, talking while I talked and showing a lot of disrespect for each other.
After an illuminating conference with my supervisor, my position became very clear. I need to start integrating community-building activities into my lessons, just as I would various subjects. Even though we are already 3/4 of the way through the year, it is still needed. I also am modifying some class management techniques. Instead of asking 'Jimmy' to be quiet a second time, I will comment on how nice and quiet 'Jane' is and try to use positive energies. Before each lesson I will reiterate the importance of listening and showing respect for others, and lay out ground rules for group work. I don't expect to see any improvements overnight but working closely with my AT, I hope to bolster the class moral.
No matter how in depth and spellbinding a lesson plan can be, it is a fruitless task to teach if learning is disrupted by negative, angry and disrespectful behaviour.
I am thrilled to be teaching Science and am positively frightened at the same time. I tremble at the thought of explaining how computers work in our 'Components' lesson Week 4 but know that having successfully demonstrated the measurement of gravity in my most recent lesson, I just might be able to survive it. I am having to teach myself the concepts every night and find 'teacher's notes' to be extremely helpful in my lessons. Had you asked me what a 'Newton' was three weeks ago, I would have said a cookie.
In any case, I look forward to the coming week and the challenge of designing language lessons as well as integrating community-building in the classroom. I'll let you know how it goes!
Good bye for now,
Catharine
As for the Grade 5's, I am finding that this dynamic, energetic and chatty class is keeping me on my toes. Though most of the 32 students are attentive and function well together, there are at least 8 individuals who continuously disrupt learning, leave most work incomplete and even disregard my instructions while continuing to misbehave. I felt unsatisfied this week and confused by the actions of these particular attention-seeking students. Even though I created fun, interactive science activities that addressed many learning styles and intelligences, these children continued to cause havoc in the classroom; teasing each other, lacing heavy sarcasm into their comments, talking while I talked and showing a lot of disrespect for each other.
After an illuminating conference with my supervisor, my position became very clear. I need to start integrating community-building activities into my lessons, just as I would various subjects. Even though we are already 3/4 of the way through the year, it is still needed. I also am modifying some class management techniques. Instead of asking 'Jimmy' to be quiet a second time, I will comment on how nice and quiet 'Jane' is and try to use positive energies. Before each lesson I will reiterate the importance of listening and showing respect for others, and lay out ground rules for group work. I don't expect to see any improvements overnight but working closely with my AT, I hope to bolster the class moral.
No matter how in depth and spellbinding a lesson plan can be, it is a fruitless task to teach if learning is disrupted by negative, angry and disrespectful behaviour.
I am thrilled to be teaching Science and am positively frightened at the same time. I tremble at the thought of explaining how computers work in our 'Components' lesson Week 4 but know that having successfully demonstrated the measurement of gravity in my most recent lesson, I just might be able to survive it. I am having to teach myself the concepts every night and find 'teacher's notes' to be extremely helpful in my lessons. Had you asked me what a 'Newton' was three weeks ago, I would have said a cookie.
In any case, I look forward to the coming week and the challenge of designing language lessons as well as integrating community-building in the classroom. I'll let you know how it goes!
Good bye for now,
Catharine
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