Week 4

I can't believe it is over. I have no idea where the time went or how it happened to pass so fast but practicum is over.

As tough has this adventure has been, I found myself teary-eyed yesterday. I was presented with a beautiful card signed by countless students and every class to whom I bade farewell seemed genuinely disappointed to see me go. This truly came as a surprise to me as in the last two weeks I've been tougher, more consistent and ten thousand times more committed to seeing my learning environment not jeopardized by constant talking, distraction and disrespect. I held after-school detention, singled students out by name who were talking and even spent a few minutes declaring that everyone was silly for not taking advantage of my help and instruction, which could result in the students having to do all test preparation alone on their own time. They really did not like this idea at all.

On my last day my most challenging class was more distracted than ever. It almost felt like a contest of wills. I found myself talking over them; something I did in my first week of practicum. This frustrating realization compelled me to take a deep breath and recall the wise words of my AT. The moment you think you know everything about teaching, you should probably quit. This may sound dramatic but these words have stayed with me. The classroom is dynamic. No minute is ever the same as any other. You think you may have mastered something, but every moment there are changes. You as a teacher have more reactions per minute than many professions. You are a performer. You are expected to be 'on' and you can learn, develop skills and gain experience in every second you interact with students. My AT proclaims he is still learning everyday and compares himself to me, the student.

On Thursday, I was particularly frustrated with a student. I simply could not understand why he misbehaved so consistently without fear of repercussion. My after-school ride was late and as I sat waiting on a bench a few blocks away from school, this student and a few of his friends approached me. They knew my last day was Friday and stopped to wish me good luck with my studies and to thank me. My heart crashed out my chest at that point. They were so sweet and dear and normal and I will never forget their thanks. The classroom setting is difficult. The students want to socialize and have ten thousand things on their minds seemingly more important than school. I remember how this felt. For a moment in class, as an adult striving to connect with a difficult student, I forgot about this feeling. Outside of school, everything clicked into place when those boys wished me good luck.

I am exhausted beyond belief but proud of myself. Teaching classical music to the modern-day student is a challenge unto itself and I spent hours of time lesson-planning at night, trying to use video, movies and pop-culture references to make it relevant. I look forward to writing my second term essay on this topic.

In closing, I am truly fortunate to have connected with an AT who took to the time offer advice, asses, analyse and also compliment me on things that went well. For him, it was a full-time job and he was serious about his role as mentor. His honesty was often a rude awakening for me but I loved it and always implemented suggested he had. I don't profess to know everything and neither does he, but returning again to the importance of rapport, I still believe he is as successful as he is in his profession because he has taken the time to treat the students as human beings and develop that rapport with them. I hope to make him proud.